one way or the other, I began to realize how I haven’t forgive myself completely on not taking my ex-boyfriend seriously (the most endearing guy I’ve got to know, yeah the one before my last good-for-nothing boyfriend).  My 20 years old-self was so distracted by the appeal of latino culture and city that I found it hard to be committed to this one guy from my hometown.. and you know, to think about it, after broken up with him, my world began collapsing, I became this ‘zombie’ who not really sure what to do with her life that she only cares about enjoying the present and made her forget with her obligation or duty as a daughter.

It’s been 7 years, here I am still trying to make peace with myself , letting go past mistake and in bed with regret every single night.



they’d say I’m picky, that I have too much requirement on how my life partner should be.

it’s for life though, then is it so wrong of me to take my time carefully?

I’ve known since quite early, marriage that started with a crumbling foundation eventually would hurt you, your children and your family.

So yeah, I am picky, picky for the well-being, not only me, but for a lot of people close to me.